... in myself. I think I'm beginning to stop loving .__. I do not feel that thumping when I think about him. Maybe myself is just protecting from the pain of not seeing him and keeps on ignoring every feeling concerning him.
I feel like C.G Jung xD

I'm not sure anymore. About what I should do with my life. I'm afraid of changes. But mostly I'm the one who does change.
It kinda turns out like sort of been shizophrenic xD Gosh, I'm hopeless xD

I'm listening to the Amelié- Soundtrack and feel alone.
Don't feel like doing anything. I want to draw a fanart for my fanfiction. I love the pairing shin x natsu... although, she hasn't asnwered him yet xD

I feel somewhat empty ... I dunno, what it is... Just made some cookies with my mum and my sister (she visited us after a long time) but ...well I guess I'm gettin' this sickness all housewifes get in winter...WINTER DEPRESSION -___- ....

But tomorrow I'll see my husband .... but still I am feeling of losing.
I am not missing him. Maybe it's that I just do not want to miss him, because when he goes to military I won't see him for a long time. I don't want to get broken by missing him. I wish I could cry, but it wouldn't help, or make anything better. And I am dreaming of cheating on him ... and I quite do not know how to cope with that. ...It's just fuqqing crap.

... so I just feel like an emo.

Today in gym class we played some volleyball ... and it smashed my stupid little finger ... typical for me. Tomorrow I have to go see the doctor and he'll have to do some x-ray thingies... Sport's not good .__.' And tomorrow I'll have to write a test because I missed the philosophy one .__.'

FUQQ

Oh and by the way ...

It's my 15th anniversary ...I'm 15 months together with my husband  ~ LOVE <333